Don’t make breastfeeding harder than it already is

“You have to breastfeed even when your nipples are cracked and bleeding.”

“Stress decreases your milk supply, so make sure you’re always happy.” 

“You are Chinese. Usually, Chinese women have low milk supply and don’t breastfeed.” 

These were all said to me by Asian health practitioners and veteran moms, but why didn’t I find any of these comments helpful at the start of motherhood? 

The initial days of breastfeeding can be hard. You’re not getting enough sleep, your body is still in a state of shock and recovery from childbirth, and because of your baby’s tiny growing stomach, they will feed every 1-2 hours in the first few weeks. 

I wish I had someone to talk to about this journey. How it’s okay to supplement with formula if your supply is low–breastfeeding is best, but a fed baby is best-est. I wish someone had told me that sometimes milk supply takes a while to come in and it’s key to pump and breastfeed often to increase supply. Don’t be discouraged. 

More importantly, I wish someone had emphasised how we need to take care of our mental health as new mums. Motherhood stretched me in a way nothing ever has—not my Ph.D. program, not while I was working three jobs. As a new mom, if you’re in a good mental headspace, that’s already half the battle won. 

There were days when my baby girl would not latch well, and I took it as a form of rejection or that I was a bad mom if I topped her up with formula; I used to joke with my husband not to use that “F word” (for formula) in the house. All these emotions in the first few weeks can be awfully overwhelming, and looking back now, at 5 months postpartum, I would tell myself, don’t worry too much, mama!  With the right support system and pediatricians, your baby will continue to grow well at their own pace. You’re not alone. 

It’s a brand new world for you and your baby, and you’re already doing phenomenally every single day, mummy!